Since when is my name a synonym for head?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
