remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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