Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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