she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
