I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was CRYING into my vagina
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
