You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
