You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
