I puked a lego.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
