Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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