these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
