I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
