just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
