Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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