definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
