last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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