Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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