You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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