Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.

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  (206): i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to. http://tfl.nu/oxy7
  Replies (3) Good night (3034) Bad night (522)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.

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  (913): No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands. http://tfl.nu/4dof
  Replies (7) Good night (1041) Bad night (3976)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please

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  (202): im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please http://tfl.nu/aagw
  Replies (29) Good night (4363) Bad night (1570)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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  (303): i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around http://tfl.nu/e0gz
  Replies (14) Good night (2167) Bad night (5923)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1287) Bad night (4357)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong

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  (630): So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong http://tfl.nu/7whz
  Replies (28) Good night (993) Bad night (5935)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us

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  (304): Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us http://tfl.nu/9jfi
  Replies (4) Good night (2542) Bad night (751)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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  (517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg
  Replies (8) Good night (1916) Bad night (1025)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card

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  (734): this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card http://tfl.nu/flh6
  Replies (28) Good night (3509) Bad night (1122)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Not worth it.

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  (973): She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene. (1-973): Not worth it. http://tfl.nu/l4pk
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (1288)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?

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  (+44): you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck? http://tfl.nu/szfq
  Replies (8) Good night (1759) Bad night (626)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in

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  (814): currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight (814): I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in http://tfl.nu/2u0u
  Replies (17) Good night (774) Bad night (1544)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.

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  (312): Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available. http://tfl.nu/293f
  Replies (6) Good night (492) Bad night (969)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight

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  (214): Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/7wsd
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (216)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Did you feel uncomfortable?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.

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  (601): Did you feel uncomfortable? (1-601): For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch. http://tfl.nu/qfar
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (183)

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