Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay http://tfl.nu/aqwf
  Replies (6) Good night (684) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion. http://tfl.nu/pxq1
  Replies (15) Good night (657) Bad night (1894)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex. http://tfl.nu/mdk4
  Replies (14) Good night (4824) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward... http://tfl.nu/0sye
  Replies (14) Good night (524) Bad night (4506)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/6118
  Replies (11) Good night (808) Bad night (3808)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was. http://tfl.nu/qrct
  Replies (39) Good night (1750) Bad night (5348)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year. http://tfl.nu/8zt2
  Replies (10) Good night (1069) Bad night (3991)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3303) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring http://tfl.nu/7l8r
  Replies (9) Good night (2269) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville. http://tfl.nu/qtz6
  Replies (7) Good night (982) Bad night (1793)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something. http://tfl.nu/b077
  Replies (15) Good night (4621) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order. http://tfl.nu/a6f0
  Replies (8) Good night (1493) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
  Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued. http://tfl.nu/8osh
  Replies (8) Good night (1035) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville. http://tfl.nu/d4yv
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (208)

Randomize