i don't like sucking hair
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."