69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You're a waste of cheezeits
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
