hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
