I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize