she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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