my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
