FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
