I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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