would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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