Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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