I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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