i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize