This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?