How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.