I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
ttyl tear gas
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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