if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised