Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
