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• (281): View more from Texas

  I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

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• (220): View more from

  Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.

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• (310): View more from California

  Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Please never have kids.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Found your bra

  (214): View more from Texas

  Where?

  (469): View more from Texas

  Hanging in the tree

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