ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.