I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.