i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
