It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
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And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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