i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
