Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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