I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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