I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wear drunk well.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
