She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
