I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
