He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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