I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I look better un-naked...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
