wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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