Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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