Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
