thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
