Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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