apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
