i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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