Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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