I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
