i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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