Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
