I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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