GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
