He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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