god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
soo... how was my night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
