He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
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I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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