and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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