why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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