Heybabeimwearingurpanties
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
